On Marxism of love as De Botton states it...

"There is usually a Marxist moment in every relationship, 

the moment when it becomes clear that love is reciprocated. 

The way it is resolved depends on the balance between self-love 

and self-hatred. If self-hatred gains the upper hand, then the 
one who has received love will declare that the beloved
(on some excuse or other) is not good enough for them

(not good enough by virtue of associating with no-goods). 

But if self-love gains the upper hand, both partner may

accept that seeing theιr love reciprocated is not proof 

of how low the beloved is, but of how lovable they have 

themselves turned out to be." 

[Alain De Botton; (2006); 'Essays in Love: Marxism';Picador;London; p.51]

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Ο Μαρξισμός σκοτώνει τον έρωτα.

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Marxism kills love.

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The self-hatred could be seduced and fall in love even deeper with the beloved,

for despite they are full of flaws, the beloved still loves them back, 

thus seeming more divine and superior in the eyes of the lover.

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On the other hand the self-loved could easily feel they deserve better than the beloved

and with every flaw of the beloved, they would doubt their love and think of the exit door to a better beloved one.

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Let's not be Marxists this time, 

let's just love each other for who we are.

What I am and what you are.

EDITED 23 July 2012:
Of course, these alternatives are not realistic, since people and especially lovers act as a mirrors for each other. We tend to see ourselves on the other person. In self-love one can see the several aspects of the other person, both good and bad; still love them and accept them completely, as one loves and accept oneself. In self-hatred however, the other eventually manifests as the dark mirror of all the nasty things one hates about oneself; chances are then to project them on the other and try to deal with them as of external nature.